Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Boy meets girl! It’s the stuff of books and movies. It’s wonderful when two people decide before God to commit to each other for the rest of their lives, but we all know that marriage isn’t always that easy and a lot of marriages won’t make it for the long-term. Sadly the last 50 years in China have seen great social upheaval. The cultural revolution ripped families apart. The post revolution economic boom saw parents focus on making money as the only way to provide for their families. The one-child-policy has given rise to a whole generation of children who struggle to share and relate to others. Going back further there are many other Chinese customs and traditional thinking about marriage that are unbiblical and very unhelpful. This is the background for many young Chinese and it makes it hard to have a stable marriage which mirrors Christ and the Church.

Sometimes a frank and open conversation between a man and woman can help identify expectations and discuss any issues. It may help to reveal things that are unbiblical, allowing for repentance and a change of heart. It may bring deeper understanding and appreciation. In some cases it may lead to a wise decision not to marry.

How can two people have this frank and open conversation? They may find the attached questions helpful. The questions are in English (so you know what they are) and Chinese. We recommend the couple work through them individually first then come together and talk about their answers. They may need many sessions to do this since the questions may raise complicate issues. They may want to also talk through some things with a pastor, mentor or friend.

These conversations may be hard, but it’s better to have them before the wedding rather than after. Our hope is that these questions will encourage the couple to a deeper level of love for each other, that leads to repentance and faith and that displays Jesus’ sacrificial love for the world.

Link to Pre-marriage Questions