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Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Boy meets girl! It’s the stuff of books and movies. It’s wonderful when two people decide before God to commit to each other for the rest of their lives, but we all know that marriage isn’t always that easy and a lot of marriages won’t make it for the long-term. Sadly the last 50 years in China have seen great social upheaval. The cultural revolution ripped families apart. The post revolution economic boom saw parents focus on making money as the only way to provide for their families. The one-child-policy has given rise to a whole generation of children who struggle to share and relate to others. Going back further there are many other Chinese customs and traditional thinking about marriage that are unbiblical and very unhelpful. This is the background for many young Chinese and it makes it hard to have a stable marriage which mirrors Christ and the Church.

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Marriage in the Middle Kingdom

By Devas and Devas, 2015 – used with permission

Marriage, like so much else in China, has undergone profound changes in recent years. In the past, tradition, social expectations and poverty all tended to oblige couples to stick together, whatever the reality of their relationship. Marriages were generally contracted at a young age, married children usually lived with parents, and divorce was rare. Today, in a much more mobile society, grown‐up children may live far from their parents, and opportunities for multiple relationships are much greater. Living together before marriage has become commonplace, at least in cities. Divorce has reached levels similar to that in Western countries. Abortion is widespread, particularly where the one‐child policy is enforced. At the same time, parents put huge pressure on young people to get married and produce a child. All this presents great challenges to those returning to China who have become Christian believers overseas, particularly since the expectation would be that they marry soon after returning. This article is intended to help those working with Chinese students overseas to understand more about the situation of marriage in China, and to encourage them to address this subject with pre‐returnees, so they will be more prepared for the challenges they will encounter.

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