Returning to Shanghai from Chicago
Xiao Xu
One Monday evening a month ago, I returned home from work, translating an article while listening to worship songs on Spotify, something I hadn’t done in a while. Suddenly, I craved fried chicken, so I ordered a KFC family bucket for delivery. As I bit into my second spicy chicken wing, before I could process what was happening, tears mixed with the taste of the chicken in my mouth.
Wiping away my tears, I tried to understand where this sudden flood of emotions came from.
The aroma of the fried chicken triggered memories of the past – whether recent or from long ago. Whether it was Korean fried chicken, Buffalo wings, or McNuggets, I was always eating with friends from my Chicago church. Those wonderful times spent with them—long conversations, laughter, lively gatherings, quiet moments of heart-to-heart sharing, and the fulfillment and relaxation after serving together—all came rushing back, sparked by that half-eaten chicken wing.
In that moment, after more than ten months back in China, I realized for the first time that I had been uprooted from Chicago and transplanted into a new environment. I went from always living with friends to temporarily living alone. Though I stayed connected with friends online, met up with those briefly visiting China, and had the long-distance companionship of loved ones and occasional visits, I realized I still felt lonely.
The Need for Belonging
After returning to China, I tried to slowly build new friendships and community in this new city. But cultivating deep, intimate, and supportive relationships takes time. Perhaps because of Shanghai’s vast distances, people come from all directions for Bible studies or Sunday worship, gathering briefly before dispersing, often only engaging in superficial conversations. For someone like me who was accustomed to the intensity of close-knit fellowship, this felt somewhat disorienting.
Thankfully, a few friends who had returned to China earlier helped me integrate into the church. They invited me to meals or activities after Sunday services, and a sister responsible for welcoming newcomers invited me to dinner to get to know me better. I became a familiar face at Bible study and started learning about a small group closer to home.
Over the past three months, I’ve not only stayed at this church because I resonate with its solid preaching, teaching, and emphasis on worship and discipleship, but also because of the growing connections with its members. I’ve even started calling it “my church” and have invited friends returning to Shanghai to join.
When I served in Chicago, we faced similar challenges: how to help brothers and sisters returning to China adapt to local church life. Back then, we focused mainly on referrals and care. But going through this process myself, I’ve realized that integrating into a local church community and building a sense of belonging is crucial. Based on my experience, this process requires both the initiative of the individual and the proactive efforts of the local church.
The Combined Effort of Individuals and the Church
The attrition rate of returnee Christians to China is extremely high, due to factors like spiritual growth challenges, societal pressures, and differences between churches.
I’d like to focus on the aspect of building a sense of belonging and share my experience as a newcomer integrating into my current church. Though I’m still in the process of settling in, I believe the following mindsets and actions have been helpful and may benefit others going through this process or churches welcoming them.
From my perspective, I’ve made these efforts: I joined a circle of friends through introductions by old friends or small group leaders, embraced the fact that my current church is more diverse than my previous one, and approached getting to know others with sincerity and curiosity. I’ve also been open to sharing my heart when God provides opportunities, allowing others to know me and fostering organic relationships.
When I meet brothers and sisters who, like me, are new to the church and lingering on the edges of the community, I take the initiative to get to know them. Through conversations and questions, I learn more about the church, pay attention to its ministry needs, and, when invited by ministry leaders, serve within the church’s permitted scope. I feel this church can shepherd me, and I have a role to contribute. After three months of involvement, I’m planning to start the process of becoming a member of this church.
From the perspective of the local church, based on practices at my current church that could help newcomers integrate: After every Sunday service, there’s a time for newcomers to learn about the church and ask questions. This not only helps them understand the church but also ensures they’re seen and connected with welcoming team members, who may later invite them to a nearby small group.
This fall, my church also started a Bible study class specifically for those who haven’t joined a small group, newcomers who feel hesitant to join existing groups, or anyone interested in studying God’s Word. It’s led by the church’s pastoral co-workers.
Old friends have invited me to join brothers and sisters whom they are familiar with for lunch or activities, enthusiastically helping me find a small group to join. Recently, a sister I met in a small group invited me to a group outdoor activity, and a family invited me to their monthly dinner prioritized for ministry workers and newcomers. These actions made me feel welcomed, noticed, and cared for, giving me more opportunities to connect and get to know other brothers and sisters.
In fact, these two perspectives and corresponding practices also apply to Christians moving abroad for study or work and to Chinese churches overseas welcoming these newcomers.
Through the combined efforts of individuals and local churches, Christians transplanted into new environments can better integrate, draw nourishment to grow, and contribute to the broader ecosystem.
Finally, I’ll borrow a sentence from a preacher who said it during a recent Bible study: By committing to a visible church, we commit to the invisible Church – God’s family.
About the Author: The author previously served in a Mandarin-speaking church mainly consisted of young professionals in Chicago. She returned to China in early 2023 and began a new job and church life in Shanghai.
Read the Chinese version of this article on Behold website.